My weekend at the 73rd

Overall a four day weekend at AIT is pretty bad ass. Twice we got to sleep in late. Once until 0600 and today we got to sleep in until 0700. I skipped breakfast because the DFAC (read cafeteria) opens up an hour or so early. I decided that I needed the sleep much more so than the food. So today I slept in, picked up trash and went hungry.

Being a phase 4 at at AIT is seriously the pits. Make sure when you leave basic that your PT scores are as high as they can be because you don't want to not phase up because you can't do a basic 60% passing on your PT. Of course if you come to the 73rd then you will need to do 70% as well as a bunch of other crap. Again like I said, from what I hear Signals across the field has it much easier compared to us. I wish I could write about what life is like as a 94E yet but frankly I am still too new here to say anything.

My first week here at AIT has been filled with a lot of emotional turmoil. I was split ops. When I came home from BCT I was sent home for two months because I had renegotiated my contract. During the time that I spent at home during Christmas and Thanksgiving a lot of my "issues" had been exacerbated by the stress I experienced in BCT. I ended up coming home, breaking up with my girl friend and treating other friends and family poorly. It wasn't that I'm a dick at heart. I truly am a good person. I had just given up keeping myself in check and was tired of feeling persecuted all the time for my "quirks" that don't hurt anyone.

Everything came crashing down when I was acting impulsive and inconsiderate for the duration I was there and finally became drunk and belligerent towards the end of the night. My ex-girlfriend lost all respect for me as well as my other close friends. Frankly some of them aren't my biggest fans right now. For days my friend's opinions of me seem to spiral wildly downhill. I was so heart broken in it I felt like I had lost everything in life. I felt deeply despondent for a few days.

Last night I talked to my mentor and the center figure for my circle of friends. He clarified that a lot of the things he wanted me to change were actually my impulsive behavior. He didn't think I was a dick, or a bad person or even a sociopath. Just thought that I was failing not to think about my actions enough. I felt much better because I know those are things I can change. Those aren't the "quirks" that I am sensitive about. I feel like the next year is going to be a great time for me to improve myself and finally become the man I've been wanting to grow into.

I have decided to make a lot of changes. I want to make new friends and spend a lot more time at church. I intend to quit smoking and drinking ( so far very easy to do as a phase IV ). I need to really grow as a person and I think that the opportunities for me to do that aren't near home anymore.